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Change Your Thinking

Photo by Joyce Huis

Have you ever been with a group of people and find yourself getting caught up in a lot of complaining? Did you ever wonder, "How did I get into this conversation and why am I so 'into' it?!?" While, at the same time, when it's over and you walk away, you feel yucky??

Have you ever found yourself back in the same place with the same group of people still complaining about the same stuff?!? And, what's worse, is that it is so easy to get sucked right back into it.

So, one more question ... with all the whining and kvetching and grumbling, has a solution to the "problem" ever been born in the midst of it? Not usually and there's a good reason for that and Albert Einstein put it eloquently:

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking

we used when we created them."

Even if we're upset about something that we don't feel we created, continuing to stay in the energy of what bothers us leaves little room for fixing it or even clearly addressing it.

We've all been there, whether in a group or by ourselves. Our brain keeps whirring away, going over and over something that is causing discomfort or unhappiness. Sometimes it feels good (at first) to have others validate how we're feeling about it. At some point, though, we can actually experience in our bodies that it just doesn't serve us. We might get a headache or upset stomach or just an uneasiness. There are a few ways to deal with this.

If we are in the group, we can leave and go for a walk. We might want to also suggest, especially if we notice everyone getting frustrated, that everyone take a break and see if we can come back together later with some new thoughts and ideas.

If we are trying to figure out something on our own, we could do a little physical exercise, watch something on TV or YouTube, listen to music and maybe take a dance break, or engage in another activity that is preferably enjoyable and relaxing. Not thinking about the problem allows for our energy to shift and opens up the channels for new thoughts and ideas.

Photo by Konstantin Dyadyun

The next time you feel like you're going round and round and not getting anywhere, STOP. Change up your focus of attention. Find something else to engage your mind for at least 30 minutes. You might find your thinking clearing up and changing direction in even less time or, it might take more -- just go with it. Sometimes, simply forgetting about it all together and giving your thoughts over to something more enjoyable will suddenly yield an answer/solution and you'll feel the relief of moving on. This is what I wish for you.


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About the Author




Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

the Mindful Maven and Mistress of Meditation, is a sassy Queen-ager, mentor, confidante and trusted guide who provides people with everyday life support. 

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