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Giving Up The Fight

Last week was Thanksgiving in the U.S. and since I was (still!) on the road and had just moved my Dad into an Independent Senior Living apartment, I decided to take the week off from my Thursday blogette. I hope you all enjoyed your holiday, if you were celebrating.

I was fortunate to be invited to a large get-together at my dear friend's daughter's home. There were at least three generations represented with babies and teenagers present and I noticed the phrase "you learn to pick your battles" coming up frequently, especially as the veteran parents offered advice. Sometimes, we might find ourselves in a clash with our children -- one that we've quickly initiated. Yet, if we stop and think about it, we might realize that we're not really responding to the situation, but reacting in the same way that our parents did. This doesn't mean it's necessarily "bad", however, there might be another way to look at the circumstances. We might view whatever is going on differently than the generation before us did and our way of dealing with it could be different, too.

Monday's quote, from author

John le Carré, was:

"We fight the wars we inherit."

To which I responded:

"Oh, what if we didn't?"

There's so much fighting going on around the world. Sadly, some of it has endured for many generations. It's almost as if the two sides simply believe, it's what we do. Rather than taking stock of the situation and wondering if there might not be another solution, the wars go on.

On a much smaller scale, we can look around at our own affairs. Do we jump to conclusions without really considering the facts? Do we find ourselves acting exactly the same as our parents or other family members without checking in to see if that's what we really want to do? Do we fold under peer pressure, no matter what our age?

It takes a certain amount of courage and mindfulness to break out of a familiar pattern. It might even look like pushback and some around us might feel threatened at first. In the end, it's good if it feels "right" and "true" to you. Someone once said, "You don't need to accept every invitation to an argument". Find the response that fits you best -- this is what I wish for you.


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About the Author




Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

the Mindful Maven and Mistress of Meditation, is a sassy Queen-ager, mentor, confidante and trusted guide who provides people with everyday life support. 

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