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Something Good

Barbara L. Cummings
Mar 31
3 min read

Hi, there! Well, another couple of months(!) have passed since I've written or posted anything. This is especially true since my return to New England after my annual fall visit and stay in the Pacific Northwest last fall. I didn't deliberately decide to stop sharing. It all just kind of "fell away" from my routine. I can't explain it and I truly thought I just didn't feel like sharing. OK, the moment has arrived for me to come clean and be up front. I was trying to ignore a lot of big feelings and it was bringing me down. Here are some of my stress points:

I won't lie -- the current political situation disturbs me on so many levels.
My almost 96-year old dad's new diagnosis and well-being concerns me.
Thinking about my own advancing years brings up a lot of issues I hadn't thought about before.
The adorable kitty I rescued on the farm last year has a health problem that could improve over time or go south very quickly.
My own physical state could be better and has been an issue ever since I got Covid over two years ago.

I could probably add a few more items to the list, but I'll spare you. Any one of these is a good reason to think about going to bed and pulling the covers over my head for an indefinite period of time. All together they can be overwhelming, yet I've been trying to brush them off as "no biggie". It's no wonder I'm watching reruns of Chicago Med, PD, and Fire, gaining weight, crying at commercials, feeling guilty about my "to do" list getting longer and longer and not getting done, and hiding out at home. On the surface I look "fine"... sorta'. I show up for work, pay my bills, take my cat to vet visits, stay in touch with my siblings, and chat with my kids pretty regularly. I've even had a few social interactions and gone out to a couple of events.

I've felt guilty for being sad or angry and I've been blaming myself for not being more "positive".

I've been in denial that some sh*t is going down. I've been brushing off thoughts and feelings and minimizing them. I've been hiding my true feelings and painful emotions. None of this has been healthy and I am all about good health.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Is it because I'm totally self-absorbed and want everyone to know everything about me? Is it because I'm simply trying to get attention? Is it because I'm looking for sympathy? No. I'm allowing you into my state of mind because I don't think I'm alone. As I look around and as I experience day-to-day interactions in the world I take a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that it's not just me coming up against a lot.

Tell Me Something Good is the title of a song with Chaka Kahn first recorded in 1974. I love the chorus which is the same as the title with which I've been picking myself up and shaking myself off. This is what I've got so far:

I'm getting off the couch and moving. Now that the weather is so much nicer here in the northeast, going for a walk outside, especially if it's sunny, is a real mood booster.
If I do have the tv on, I'm also doing some exercises and laughing at the funny looks my cat is giving me.
I'm getting to some of the many books on my shelves and reading instead of watching Hulu or Peacock.
I'm being more mindful of what I'm eating and I'm getting ready to consult with a nutritionist.
Instead of hiding out, I'm reaching out to friends and making plans for get-togethers and sometimes little adventures.
I've returned to a regular meditation practice and my cat usually joins me. I figure it's got to be good for both of us!
I've upped my gratitudes because there is always something to be grateful for if you take a little time to notice it.
I'm setting up some therapy sessions.

I don't know what's going on with you and if you are in "the Zone", I celebrate you. I'm on my way to join you. If you're struggling at all, though, remember you are not alone. I'm sure we've all got something at some time. I know you can find your way, especially if you reach out. One of my goals is to find ways to create supportive communities where we lift each other up. Contact me if you've got ideas around this. We can talk and you can Tell Me Something Good along with everything else.