Rearrange Your Life

Hello, my Love! A couple of weeks ago I promised to write about changing up your life. I've been thinking about that a lot since then, especially since I made my way out to Oregon once again this past week. 

I remember my mother-in-law telling me that her husband never knew when he got home from work if the furniture would be in the same place as it was when he left in the morning. She would see a new design in her mind and rearrange the furniture to suit her vision. 

When I'm teaching mindfulness, I encourage people to take a different route from their everyday commute or even simple things like brushing your teeth holding the brush in the "other" hand. 

All of this gives us a new perspective and often appreciation. Usually, we are doing things without thinking, just falling into routine. Or, we might feel that it's what we're "supposed to do". Too often we get caught in the trap of worrying that we'll be judged by others if we pursue our dreams. We worry that we might lose "friends" if we follow our bliss, and the truth is, we might. Maybe they aren't the friends we thought they were, and we've been bound by our common discontent. Or, maybe we will set an example and help them see what other possibilities life can hold. In fact, most of us barely think of chasing our desires because we rarely see it happening around us. 

Rearranging one's furniture feels doable. Even in my small apartment I can think of ways to reposition certain things. Redesigning one's LIFE though ... whoa, Nellie!

From an early age, we are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?". At first, it feels ok to change our minds every couple of years. I wanted to be a cowgirl like Annie Oakley, then a ballerina, and I even entertained the idea of being a translator for the UN. There were other ideas that floated around my consciousness and at some point I became aware that I was being pressured to choose. In high school I needed to sign up for college prep or vocational studies. When I enrolled in college (even though I was not "ready" to go) I needed to declare a major (What the heck did I know about what I wanted to pursue at 18?!?). Underneath it all was the message that whatever I chose, this would be my life -- forever! How many of us have been encouraged to find a job with benefits that will allow us to retire with a pension or something like that?! Before I go further, I want to acknowledge that this might be comforting for some people, and I would say, "Then go for it!". I have known people that worked for one company all their lives and felt safe and secure when they retired. However, I have also noticed many people not having a clue what to do after retirement, who couldn't wait to be done with the "job", yet who have lost the art of dreaming, imagining, speculating, and wanting. 

Both my parents were fairly well locked into their professions (although my mother tried something different in her 50's), but they didn't work in the same company or office for their whole careers. Perhaps because my father believed that he couldn't pursue his original calling as a jazz musician and support a wife and child, I always got the impression that my parents discouraged me from pursuing the arts. I wanted to be an actor, especially after getting the lead in the senior play, and I didn't do it because I got the message that I was supposed to pursue something academic, from what I've seen, acting classes are some of the most rigorous, but not given the proper credit. I did like school however, I didn't know what to do with all that "learning". Somewhere I got the courage to try out a lot of different occupations and some I just "fell into". I enjoyed a variety of opportunities -- working in a film lab (when companies brought us their rolls of film to develop and create advertising, in this case), being a service consultant in a Cadillac dealership, doing translation work (not at the UN, but I did a gig with Polaroid), helping a start-up computer company get off the ground, and running and coordinating a restaurant-theatre business, just to name a few. When I got pregnant I was asked to take over an exercise class for pregnant women which led to collaborating with a well-known author and expert in pregnancy and post partum care. On the side, I was a fitness coach in local gyms. In my 40's I decided to go to nursing school and found my niche back with moms and babies. 

Now that I'm in my 70's I often get asked when I'm going to retire. For many, that word means "not working". For me, it means "what's next?". I might cut back a lot from some of the hospital work in which I'm currently engaged, but that's only to make room for something else. 

In general, I've made my jobs work for me. I always look for flexibility in the schedule. I'm a certified Life Coach and I can do that whenever and from wherever. As a nurse, I've often chosen to work the night shift -- three 12-hour shifts a week and at least 4 days off, often in a row. At one point I brought my living expenses down so that I could work two 12-hour shifts per week. If I worked the end of one week and the beginning of the next, I'd take the next ten days off and go to Europe. In 2014 I took an "early retirement" from a hospital and completely redesigned my life so that I could drive out to S Oregon and spend three months or more with my daughter every year. 

What I've done might not work for you. I gave up home ownership for the freedom of adding a little gypsy to my life. I rented spaces through Airbnb for a long time and made some wonderful friends along the way. I don't drive a fancy car. I've had two KIA Souls since 2013 and am looking at buying another one. They're sturdy, easy to park on city streets while still being roomy inside, and fun to drive. I've now had my own apartment again for the last two years. It's not very big, but I have a lovely porch and my cat and I make the most of the space for now. I've also learned a lot about finances (why don't they teach this in Grades K-12?!?). I'm always working on expanding my knowledge of money: how to handle it, love it, appreciate it, and respect it and it's paid off -- pun intended. 

Mainly, I've learned the importance of finding or creating happiness wherever I am. I learned about and was given permission by Mama Gena (https://mamagenas.com) and The School of Womanly Arts to become intimate with my desires and to follow what delights me. Sometimes there's trial and error involved -- it just becomes a learning experience. I recently saw a quote from Rick Sutter, a Canadian ice hockey player:

"If you always color inside the lines, the picture never changes."

That just about sums it up.

Sending Sparkles and Love Your Way,