Compare and Despair or Repair?!

Apr 6
2 min read

Welcome to April, dear Reader! It's still quite chilly here in New England, however, a few hearty little flowers are bravely starting to bloom. It's such a lovely time of year here, even if the weather still keeps us guessing.

At least once, quite a while ago, and maybe more, I've written about the danger in always comparing oneself to others. Social media has turned it into a blood sport with seemingly no good outcomes. According to research, 60% or more young people struggle with body image issues, anxiety, and a false sense of inadequacy based on an unrealistic promotion of beauty and lifestyle standards. I can't even imagine what it's like being a teenager these days with the prevalent influence of Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Another perk of being a senior citizen though, is seeing through the BS and looking for another way to respond.

In this new age of AI, it's hard to distinguish between what's real and what's absurd. It's also wonderful to celebrate others' accomplishments. My sense of what's happening on social media is that there's a belief that there's only a limited amount of good fortune out there. If someone else has some great stuff going on, there mustn't be enough left for me. And one more part of this big ball of confusion -- we're letting someone else tell us what we should like, accept, dislike, and reject. It reminds me of a beautiful quote from Jim Rohn, an American business philosopher:

"If you don't design your own life plan,

chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan.

And guess what they have planned for you?

Not much."

About a month ago, I had someone comment on my energy level that they thought was high "for my age". They asked what my secret was and made a comment about doing something to improve their own vitality and using me for inspiration. What an honor to be regarded as a good example and how exciting for them to think that what I "had" was attainable.

My point is, we have the option to always compare ourselves to others with the expectation of coming up short. OR, we can observe, perhaps admire, assess our own situation with regard to another's, and consider doing something about improving ourselves, all within reason. Noticing someone else does not have to mean sizing ourselves up against them. It can simply be noticing. An observation is not necessarily an invitation to compare and if we do find ourselves comparing, it definitely doesn't have to end in despair. Perhaps it's a gentle nudge to do a little repair, not to be just like someone else, but to be a slightly improved version of ourself. Go for it!