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Circles of Support

As I sat down to write this, I realized that my first thought was about not always being in one's comfort zone. In fact, in my head, I started to bash the idea of always staying in the company of people who think like I do. This is a little bit of the dialogue that went on...

  • "You're never going to get another perspective or see another side if you don't hang around with people who disagree with you."

  • "Some of your best learning experiences have been in uncomfortable situations."

  • "It's good practice to 'defend' yourself, or have it pointed out that you are 'wrong'."

When I first sent this week's Pleasure Peek to my VA (Virtual Assistant), I thought it sounded brilliant:

"Seek and join circles of kindred spirits."


And, it is. In fact, the voices in my head also have merit, however if those voices were the only "truth", it would become self-defeating. I need those dear friends in my life who help support me. They contribute to my positive self-esteem so that I can then be open to listening to other opinions.

If I am always defending myself, I will go through life, well, ...on the defensive. It's really hard to have a conversation with someone who feels insecure and can't listen. Instead of hearing what you have to say, they keep hammering away at justification of their idea(s).

As we get to know ourselves better, we recognize that it is more pleasurable to be with some people over others. Have you ever just met someone and you can hardly believe how easy it is to talk with them? The conversation just flows. On the other hand, isn't it funny how you can be with someone else and not think of a single thing to say?! It feels like a lot of awkwardness between you and often it's something you just can't put your finger on.

It's not necessarily affected by age or sex or background ... it's just that I can sense when someone is on the same wavelength with me. It feels good and I feel better for it. This, in turn, opens me up to feeling safe about having an open discussion. I can be receptive to another frame of reference.

Find your tribe. Let them validate you and also call you on your stuff! This is where you will thrive and grow and find a place where you focus on all that is "right" with you. From this place you can step into everything else with your beautiful core intact.


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About the Author




Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

is a sassy Queen-ager whose mission is to co-create a happier, healthier life with and for others.

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