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Believe Bigger & Split Your Britches

Last week I saw that a friend had commented on FB about wishing she had another woman's confidence. My response was swift -- "You do, you just don't know it".

Then, I was working with a new business mentor and we were talking about how many women have told me, "I want to be you when I grow up". The underlying belief that goes with that statement is, "You've got something I don't have".

Monday's Pleasure Point was "You are what you believe." Too many of us are afraid of being too big for our britches. Even though I know what that means, I wanted to see what the dictionary said: How's this ... having an exaggerated sense of their own importance or, your assumed position is larger than the actual position you belong in -- WTF?!?! Is that the problem? We don't know our "place" or at least doubt what we can do or who we can be? We believe that we'd better not get too big.

For many women it's a belief that's been ingrained in us since we were born. Our mothers and grandmothers bought into it and merrily passed it along in much the same way that we learned to roast a chicken in a particular pan just like all the women before us. The thing is, when it comes to worrying about being too grand, we end up being "cooked", just like that bird, when we stay small.

So, what are we supposed to do, especially if our role models wouldn't dream of busting their seams?? We find new role models/mentors. We get in with other women who long for something bigger and better. I've been fortunate to have some wonderful teachers in

my life and one of the best is Mama Gena, aka Regena Tomashauer. When I enrolled in her Mastery Class at the School of Womanly Arts I found a whole, new community that did not want to keep hiding their light or worry about taking up too much space. What was even better was everyone wanted expansion for all of us. In fact, my Sister Goddesses won't let me keep quiet about my desires or accomplishments. We crow and brag and lift each other up, every chance we get and then, we invite others to join us. In fact, some women have brought their mothers into the fold -- it's never too late to explore being all you can be.

If you'd like to know more about Mama Gena, check out her website Or, here are some other things you can do:

  • Start spending more time with people who make you feel like it's ok to live life full-out.

  • Look for new groups or create one of your own where you and other women can grow and expand without feeling like you're doing something "wrong".

  • Support other women when you see them taking even the tiniest baby step toward a bigger life.

  • Practice "believing" you are more. One way is to say affirmations in front of a mirror. My favorite one is "I love and approve of myself".

Finally, don't worry if your metaphorical britches get too tight. Have fun and get some bigger ones!


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About the Author




Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

is a sassy Queen-ager whose mission is to co-create a happier, healthier life with and for others.

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