What's Mine Is Mine
A cheery "Hello" to you as we slide into September! Even though I have extensive training and practice in mindfulness, I can't seem to slow down the passing of time and days. I suppose I can take comfort in knowing that I'm fully aware of and present for at least some of those moments, LOL.
As I sat down to write The Bloom this week, I was thinking about how many years I've posted something on a regular basis. Some of you might have been on the receiving end for nearly as long as I've been doing it! I think my first "newsletter" was nearly 15 years ago! In some ways you've gotten to "know" me over time, although I admit I've often tried to offer upbeat, positive observations. I haven't always allowed you to see the darker side. Sometimes it was because I didn't want to dwell or get stuck in some negativity and other times it was because I didn't want you to think I had my black holes, which of course is ridiculous. Once in a while, and less and less, I might add, I thought I was supposed to totally have my sh#t together all the time or else you wouldn't want to continue reading. Of course, the opposite is true! The more real I am, the more connected I feel to you and I hope you feel the same, which leads us to today. A Seed I planted for your pondering pleasure earlier this week was:
"Be accountable. It goes a long way in building up your integrity, not only with others, but especially with yourself!"
I thought I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to say, however when I started looking up the meaning of accountability, I realized there was even more that I wanted to express. When we are accountable, we take responsibility for something we are supposed to do or that we have already done. This last part is where it can get tricky. We admire accountability in others, but we don't always want to "take the rap" for our own stuff. Yet when we make someone else or ourselves accountable we're teaching them and ourselves how valuable their/our work or what we do really is.
Being accountable means embracing six important elements:
honesty
compassion
respect
fairness
responsibility
courage
Plus, it means owning who we are and what we do. It means getting rid of putting blame or "fault" on someone else or on some other circumstances. I tried to get away with blaming other people for my unhappiness for many years. It feels like I wasted a lot of time in that mix-up, but I guess that's what it took for me to finally realize how much input I had in my own misery as well as my level of joy! I've also had to look hard at some behaviors in the past. Twelve-Step Programs have a tool called, "Making Amends". Part of it is going back and saying, "I'm sorry" whenever possible. It's difficult to do, especially when we think we can justify or excuse something that we now see as wrong. What's really important is rising above our guilt and focusing on what's right and maybe even healing and learn to do better from now on. Be accountable. Take responsibility for all that is yours. This is what I wish for you. I've learned that what's mine is mine, whether I like it or not, and I feel better when I clear the air, own it and apologize.
Sparkles and Love,
