© Barbara L Cummings 2020

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Get What You Need

December 5, 2018


When I was a little girl, I remember hearing the adults say to never discuss religion or politics at a dinner party. I would love to bring back the custom of having dinner parties on a regular basis. I'm not sure I'd like to talk about politics these days and I doubt I would chat about organized religion, however I would relish hearing about peoples' spiritual practices.


I was raised in a family that belonged to and attended a protestant church. While my parents were quite liberal about many things, their views (especially my mother's) were very strong about which religion was better. I didn't get it because I had friends in school that went to all different churches and it didn't seem to matter regarding our friendship. Also, while I liked some of the music and even the rituals in "our" church, I really didn't "get" it. By the time I was in fourth grade, I was asking a lot of questions in Sunday School and I was getting reprimanded for doing so. More and more, it felt like religion was cramping my style. When I got older and noticed that wars were usually being fought over how people believed in their God or gods or goddesses and I studied the history of religious persecution, I decided to take matters into my own hands. 


As an ongoing research project I started to pay attention to what I needed and wanted from a spiritual standpoint. I've always been interested in the mind/body connection with regard to my physical health. I learned early on that when I was happy about what was going on in my life and when I did things I liked to do, my body felt better, too. One area that I struggled with was fluctuating emotions. For a long time I tried to think my way through. I was smart. I had a lot of excellent education, but often I felt like I was thinking too much. There were moments when I was filled with fear and couldn't figure out what to do with it. Trying to rationalize a situation usually didn't help. Other times, I could feel like everything was right in the world and I was calm and centered, but I couldn't figure out where that came from. 


I started to read and hear talks about the difference between my ego and soul. At first, I thought I understood it intellectually while I still wrestled with being in one state or another. Finally, not too long ago, I had a true Ah-ha moment. I realized that when I felt the most fear, even terror, it usually was all about my ego trying to protect me. When I was calm and collected and peaceful, I was in communication with my inner divine. As I considered these "truths", I also understood that I had been learning to trust my connection with the Universe, with Spirit, with God. In fact, I have become very aware over many years that I have angels (that's how it seems to me) and when I ask them to lend a hand, they always come through. 



A church sometimes provides community and when it does, I think that's one of the most important functions it can fill. I love having connection with others and sometimes when I get together, perhaps at a dinner party, it feels like church to me. I've learned to often ask myself, "Barbara, what do you need now?". Then, when I get quiet or indulge in a gentle activity that feels pleasurably nourishing, I get in touch with my desires. I tap into tools I've learned through many beloved teachers. I don't ignore the warnings my ego is desperate for me to hear, but I do gently remind myself that my soul will see me through. This is what I wish for you. 


Sparkles and Love,



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About the Author




Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

is a sassy Queen-ager, mentor and guide who provides people with life support. 


Using meditation, mindfulness, and loving conversation, "I help people figure things out, feel so much better, find more fun and get their laugh back!"

Life can be so good!

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