© Barbara L Cummings 2018

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The Perfection Trap

December 13, 2017

 

'Tis the season ... for stress! Lots of it! Over the years I've noticed that one of the big reasons that we feel pushed to our limits is because we get caught up in wanting our holidays to be "perfect". From November until January we exhaust ourselves in search of the "perfect" ...

 

Outfits

Gifts

Cards

Parties

Dinners

Desserts

 

and, the list goes on.  We even expect people to act "perfectly".

 

I love looking up definitions of words, especially because where words come from sometimes gives great insight into how we've possibly twisted their original meaning. The roots for perfect are Latin: per- meaning through or completely + facere- the verb to do which led to the Latin word perfectus meaning "completed". Instead of the currently acceptable definition of "faultless" or "incomparable", wouldn't it be a relief if it simply meant "having all the necessary or appropriate parts". As it stands now, there's little room for interpretation, yet what I consider exactly right is very likely different from anyone else's concept. It's like describing snowflakes -- all totally different and yet, each one "perfect". 

 

Along those lines, the other thing I've observed is that we're often not even considering our notion of perfection, but usually someone else's! What a hoot! Sometimes I think there is no limit to our tendency to make our lives a little crazy. It's almost charming, but only if we can recognize what we're doing and make some changes.

 

I propose a new way to look at your holidays ... take some time to think about, imagine, and visualize how you would like things to go/be. Write it down if it helps or create a "Vision Board" with pictures from magazines. Imagine what it would be like to sail through these next few weeks. Rather than dwelling on the details, dive into the feelings, like:

 

Gratitude

Happiness

Warmth

Love

Delight

Yumminess

Contentment

Quiet

Connection, etc.

 

 

Remember that "perfect" is in the eye of the beholder. Make your dinners, gifts, decorations ... whatever, as good as it's humanly possible. Don't forget, "to err is human" and that can really be quite divinely adorable. Tuck the element of humor right next to you and call upon it frequently. Most of all, create your holidays from the wisdom of your heart and soul ... this is what I wish for you. 

Babs 

 

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About the Author

Barbara L Cummings, MS, RN

is a sassy mentor who provides people with life support. Using meditation and mindfulness, "I help people figure things out."

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