This week's Pleasure Point ("The alternative to happy and pleasurable does not hold much hope for fun") was all about looking for the good times in our lives. I realized after it went out that I used a bit of double negatives to come up with a positive. Didn't our English teachers tell us not to do that?!? LOL, I'm glad I've got this week's blog to get into it a little deeper.
I often have people tell me that I seem to have a “joie de vivre”. Rather than looking for or worrying about the pitfalls I seek ways to have fun. One of my favorite sayings is, “If you go looking for trouble, you’ll probably find it” and I never go searching for it. Instead, I focus my attention and energy on the positive and draw it in whenever I can.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t had my share of down times. During and for a while after my divorce things were bleak. It was hard to feel light until I stumbled upon a major principle for moving forward: Don’t blame others and always assume personal responsibility. Before you start to bristle, this does not mean that you can’t recognize another person’s behavior as unacceptable and even call them on it. What it does mean is that I am not going to allow someone else’s dysfunction ruin my day and I am going to take the reins in finding my happy spots and creating good times. This is too important to leave up to someone else.
Taking charge of my life often means not associating with others who are being inappropriate. It also means consciously seeking “feel good” situations. I might call up a friend who I know will interact with me in a way that will elicit a giggle or two or, I might decide to watch a funny movie or read something amusing. I might realize I need to get outside and get grounded in nature or simply have a change in scenery. These are just a few possibilities.
I recently heard someone on NPR say that laughter means you are not defeated. This is really important when we have been through challenging circumstances. Being able to “grin and bear it” offers up hope for a brighter future. Putting yourself in the driver's seat makes it a sure thing.